Wowsers. What a divine feeling. I think part of me had forgotten how wonderful it feels to set my mind to something and then successfully accomplish it. The last time I set a conscious, that-would-be-frackin-amazing-if-i-accomplished-it goal was four years ago during my senior year of college. In fact, in all of my years thus far, I’ve only set a total of four such goals, and every single one of them was utterly inspiring upon completion.
There is something about setting your mind to something – especially something incredible, something you couldn’t possibly accomplish without putting your heart and soul into it – and really then making it happen. The bigger the goal, the bigger the emotional reward in the end. While this goal was certainly challenging, I know it wasn’t nearly as big as the ones I’ve set previously, because upon completing it I was honestly quite calm – happy, but calm. With previous completions, I felt like I was walking on air, so buoyed up by love and energy that I couldn’t stop smiling for hours and hours, while at the same time feeling completely overwhelmed with gratitude, so much so that I usually ended up crying. Those are the goals I’m talking about. Those are the things that make life feel magical.
Now that I remember what that feeling is like, I want to set a bigger goal. One that I can’t possibly accomplish without setting my mind, heart and soul to it, and one that will astound me when I finish it.
Stay tuned… the next 100 day training is coming, very shorty 
My mind felt wonderfully light at the beginning of my practice – clear of thoughts, calm, patient, accepting. As I started through my bows, my thoughts turned progressively more towards my work and the projects I’m interested in, and I felt my mind become more cluttered and noticeably weightier – not in a bad way, just different. When I noticed myself ruminating over web design, I brought my focus back to my relaxation. Enjoyed today’s practice as well… can’t believe I only have one more day of this.
Was grateful for my preparatory work for today. Having a day off can be a useful component to a practice, much like absence can be helpful in promoting presence. I am looking forward to my last two days.
Very centered practice today Bows were very fluid, and I worked hard to keep my focus on relaxation and conscious movement for the entire session. Noticed that the first 300 bows went smoothly without much effort, but the last 100 bows were noticably more difficult. Today I belieive it was because after the first 300 bows I started to fatigue, so it took more energy to maintain my focus and smooth movement. Used my conscious mind to maintain my focus as best I could. Overall, enjoyed today’s practice very much.
… only 3 days left!!!
Bowed after doing yoga… body was warmed up, and my mind was perhaps a little too warmed up because it was very scattered! Did my best to keep my mind in line with my practice. Did 400 again today, in keeping with my preparation for Tuesday morning’s red-eye flight.
Again, woke up earlier than expected, (likely because I’m on the west coast operating on east coast time), and since I was wide awake, I decided to start my day and maybe try and stay on east coast time. My bows today were very clear-headed… my shoulders were noticably sore from carrying a heavy backpack yesterday, so I focused on keeping them relaxed as I went through my practice. I also focused on the relaxation sensation in my jaw and neck as I went, which made my practice intensely enjoyable.
I chose to do 400 bows today, tomorrow, and Monday because I’m taking a red-eye fight on Monday night, and I’m guessing I won’t want to do 300 bows at 6am when I get home to Philly Tuesday morning. The higher quantity than usual seems to help keep me focused… helps me take the practice more seriously because I feel like I’m in for the long haul, so to speak. Interestingly, for the first 300 bows, I was very centered and blissed out, and during the last 100 I started to lose my focus and think about the day ahead.
Last night around midnight I started getting some painful abdominal cramps, and as they continued for the next hour, I began to wonder if I would be able to secure enough sleep before beginning my jam-packed morning. I figured that if they kept me up until the wee hours, I would consider that a physical constraint worthy of pardon, thus excusing me from starting my bows by 9am, because on this particular morning, I needed to scoot out the door by 9:15, which meant I needed to start my bows by 8am in reality.
I went to bed around 2:30 with this in mind and fell asleep with the full expectation that I’d be doing my bows closer to 2pm rather than 9am. To my surprise, however, I woke up at 8:15am feeling 100% clear headed and awake, so I hopped out of bed and began my practice a LOT earlier than expected. Because of my time constraints, my practice was incredibly focused. And because I was thrilled to be doing them before 9am, my practice was filled with joy. And as I write this entry, I can safely say that I think this experience may have affected my entire day, because today was awesome. Everything went perfectly and was intensely fun and wonderful. Today is one of those days I’ll remember for a long time because everything worked out so incredibly well. I had a perfect day today, and it started with a happy accident that I was grateful to take advantage of.
Woke up very agitated from some unsettling dreams. Started my bows in a rather negative emotional state, which I wasn’t thrilled about, but I kept to my rule of maintaining a positive attitude in regards to my bow training.
Despite my beginning emotional state, my bows ended up being surpisingly neutral. I must admit I expected to experience some frustration or long pauses during my practice, but neither paid me a visit. And while my less-than-cheerful mood returned (or at least the memory of it) upon completing my bows, my practice gave me a very helpful break from from my emotions, which surely paid off as I began the rest of my day.
Very happy and motivated – had something to look forward to upon finishing my bows which made it incredibly easy to keep my focus.
Smiled almost the entire practice
Tried to keep my focus on relaxation again. My mind wandered a bit, and when I noticed I brought it back to the relaxation sensation around my jaw.
Am happy and excited to be back home… we’re working on recreating our space with more vibrant and more relaxing energy. Change is so lovely to experience when consciously chosen!
Focus was a little erratic today, but this time when I noticed it trailing off, I pulled it back to my body, and in particular to my jaw and the sensation of relaxation that emanates from that area. This particular focus was prompted by listening to Shinzen Young’s talks on meditation, in which he recommends (when starting a meditation practice) focusing on the lovely feeling of relaxation that stems from loosening the jaw. Focusing on something enjoyable helps to provide a reward/positive reinforcement for this new activity.
If you’re interested, Shinzen Young’s basic instructions for starting a meditation practice are – find a comfortable seated position, close your eyes, loosen your jaw, and notice the subtle sensation of relaxation that starts in that area of your body focus on that, and when you observe that your focus strays, bring it back to that sensation. Focusing on the relaxation sensation will ultimately help it grow, and when you get really good at meditating, you’ll feel this relaxation across your entire body, all the time
Happy mind, happy bows. Enjoyed the beautiful morning in Toronto and the quiet, empty house, and bowed looking forward to our drive back home. Knowledge of what time we needed to leave by helped me stay focused.
Very calm and clear. Focus stayed with my bows the entire time!
Body and mind were split again today, but this time it was because my body was tired. I used my conscious mind to help my body through the bows, and it helped a lot – was able to move fluidly through them without stopping.
Interesting that the practice felt very peaceful today, even though the bows were a bit erratic to start.
Bowed last night because of heavy travel plans today. First time bowing with company over… enjoyed having laughter as background music to my practice. Overall, bows were very enjoyable, even though I took time apart from my friends while they were still present to do them!
Again felt heavily distracted, and my physical practice reflected my mental state. Bowed in a new space, which may have had something to do with it, but more likely it was the emotional challenges I’m trying to find new ways to address and learn from.
Super distracted today with a positive mindset. Worked with my mind patiently to try and keep myself focused and on track. Thoughts about some personal projects that may benefit a lot of people came to mind… was nice to ruminate on them again, despite their distraction.
Bowed late last night (more like early this morning) because I knew we’d be getting up super early and traveling today. Bowing at the end of the day had a very different feel: since I was wide awake and had plenty on my mind before I started, my bows actually provided me with some insight into a seemingly insurmountable challenge that I had been working on before I began my practice. I’ve mentioned before that bowing can be very meditative, and often if I don’t consciously direct my focus, my mind will naturally turn to whatever it deems as most important to me at that time. I was grateful and excited that my practice yielded something so helpful – ultimately it helped me switch my entire perspective on something, which resulted in feelings of hope and calm, as opposed to the anxiety and frustration I’d been wading through just minutes before.
Really amazing. From this experience, and from a few over the past few days, I’m thinking of adopting a new rule: if I’m ever rendered so emotional, by something like a conversation or email, that my emotions take over my mind, before I respond, I’d like to meditate on the emotion so that I can accept it and release it, and then respond in a clear-headed manner. I have a feeling it will save me oodles of time and oodles of emotional energy, and ultimately make me a much happier human.
Felt much more feminine energy today… lots of acceptance and calm. A nice contrast to the driven, masculine quality of yesterday’s practice.
Body, mind and emotions were in line today Bows were very fluid and felt very powerful.
Had an amazing training today… my body was completely in line with my practice. Joints and muscles moved fluidly, letting the bows felt nearly effortless. Was a little surprised that my body was feeling so positive, because intermittently I’d have thoughts about the negative things going on in my life. Usually when my thoughts turn negative, my body has a lot of trouble moving fluidly; my limbs get heavy and my will to move through a bow diminishes greatly. Today, however, my body didn’t react at all to my mind. Wonder what happened, exactly…
Hittin the home stretch… as of today I have 21 days left, which is the length of a habit-forming training which a number of my friends are engaged in. I’m actually happy to have only 21 days left… this 100 days was easier than I thought it would be until I hit day 70 or so, at which point it got noticeably difficult! And with these new training constraints (9am, accepting mind, etc), I think I’m really gonna smile when I’m all finished.
My mind and body were a little less solid today, so I used some tools to help them out – things like, when my body was getting sore, reminding myself that I’m not my body (my body is not me, it’s mine). The fatigue of the past few days from going to bed late affected my practice today, so I decided to actually get to bed early tonight. (As I write this at 10pm, I can tell you I could easily have gone to sleep two hours ago!) It’s funny… in my life, I usually give preferential treatment to my flexible bedtime than I do to a particular waking time. Thus, I’ll wake up whenever I need to after having gone to bed, well, whenever it was I needed to. But now, since I’m choosing to give preferential treatment to my waking time, my bedtime has necessarily adjusted itself.
Tonight marks the first night I will have gone to bed well before midnight in many, many months. May it be the new beginning of many longer, happier, more conscientious days to come
Fyi, Zen Habits has an interesting article on the benefits of rising early (or earlier) and offers some nice tips on how to do it, if you’re interested!
Very similar experience to yesterday—lots of energy, mind and emotions in line with my purpose.
Meditated briefly before beginning my bows, and to my surprise I felt my center grow warm as I was standing there, hands in prayer at my heart. This was a very good precursor to my practice. I had a lot of energy throughout, coupled with fabulous a state of mind full of acceptance and patience. I observed that without any conscious effort at all, I didn’t create a single complaint or negative thought; instead, I found myself feeling very peaceful, and (this may sound a bit funny) I found it easier to smile. This happened before, about a month ago after I had spent a few days with a friend who has incredibly strong and incredibly positive energy. During the week that followed, I experienced a super buoyant state of mind – I was super happy, loving, accepting, and I laughed a lot and easily. I also noticed, however, that I had a much easier time smiling, physically – the corners of my mouth were lifting more than usual, so that when I smiled, I smiled these huge, beautiful grins with hardly any effort at all. It really felt as though my cheeks had lost some weight!
This surge in energy has me excited to work on building it and maintaining a strong energy body.
Doing bows first thing in the morning was a little challenging, mostly physically. My mind was a little groggy, which actually helped keep it free of thoughts. So I chose to focus on my center, and had a very easy time keeping my focus there.
Realized that my quality of mind lately has not been very in line with my goal, meaning my thoughts and emotions have not been as helpful in supporting my practice as they could be. Today, my quality of mind was positive, which really helped my practice. Makes me want to approach the rest of my training with greater positivity and acceptance… Revamp #4
Revamp #1: Do all 300 bows consecutively, unless something really important needs to interrupt the process (necessary bowel movements, screams in the hallway, etc).
I decided this during my first 100 bows, and I was actually grateful to have to continue through all 300 without stopping. Made me realize that I’ve become pretty undisciplined in some regards! Having a few more guidelines (aka goals) actually made the training more enjoyable… gave me something to work towards. I’ll add on a few more goals while I’m at it, all of which will help me better reach the root goal I’m really after.
Revamp #2: Start my bows by 9am every morning for every remaining day of this training.
Revamp #3: Post the entry for that day on that day, before I go to bed.
After speaking with my mom earlier today, I learned when undertaking a training like this, it’s terribly important to have a very specific goal in mind, and a measurable and compelling one at that. Having a specific end goal will give meaning and purpose to the training; without it, the training is simply physical action.
I started to notice the merits of having a quantifiable goal when Misha, Mark and Rebecca decided to try the 100 pushups challenge. The challenge entails a six week training program which helps people build up to doing 100 pushups in a row. When I learned about this, I thought, wow, that’s so cool to have a measurable goal at the end of the training. If can you do 100 pushups after six weeks, then you know you’ve accomplished your goal. And the whole time you’re training, you just keep in mind that you want to do 100 at the end – it gives so much more meaning to your pushups in the meantime! Otherwise you’re just doing pushups to do pushups!
Talking with my mom really helped hit the nail on the head. I’ve been feeling a bit lost with this training the past week or so, and I think now it’s because I didn’t feel like I was moving towards anything specific. My goal for this training was to ‘improve my discipline’, but how will I know that my discipline has improved by the time I finish? What can I measure to indicate to myself that yes! I’m more disciplined!! Sure, doing something for 100 days consecutively is one measurable factor, but I believe that the 100 day training is really more of a vehicle to help you develop something else, rather than being the goal in and of itself.
Thus, I believe I will revamp this training… I still have over three weeks left, plenty of time to more actively work towards achieving my goal
More good music, more enjoyable training. Did my bows very tired tonight after cooking a yummy family dinner with Misha, but still the practice felt good
Similar to yesterday, I was dreading doing my bows today before I started them. Usually, even if I’m not super psyched to do them, after about 1 bow my mood switches, and after about 30 bows I’m feeling a lot of heat in my core. And almost always in the end I’m grateful for having done the practice, not just because I’m one more day closer to reaching my goal, but because the practice itself helps me balance my energy and feel physically great afterwards. Such was the case today, aided I’m sure in part by the first song that came up on last.fm when I started my practice: “Closing” by Wah! A song I really like, and shifted my mood almost immediately.
Discipline training doesn’t have to be all grueling… why not add some enjoyable things to it like good music?
Soooo much better today. Did them early in the day, which was a huge help (didn’t I start this training with that notion in mind? There are a lot of lessons I learn over and over and over… 
). Focused on hope, which I found very uplifting, both emotionally and literally/physically- when I lifted my arms above my head, my chest naturally tilted upwards as well, which in yoga is also considered a heart-opening posture.
Thought a little bit about a new blog that has been brewing in my mind, one which will include all the little (and big) lessons I’m learning as I grow… the idea is there, but the design (the most important component, of course!) which will house it is still a mystery in my mind… hopefully it will materialize sometime soon
Had a really challenging time today… felt agitated, impatient, and totally uninterested in bowing. I noticed that I hadn’t selected a focus, and I wondered if the lack of purpose for this session had anything to do with my lack of inspiration. This then got me thinking about my purpose for this training in general (which was primarily to build my discipline) and what my purpose(s) for my next training(s) will be. While it was definitely helpful to ponder the what and why of my future trainings, I realized that doing so wasn’t going to do squat to reduce the challenge and discomfort of the current one.
In other words: I really need to attend to my present training.
I know that the meat of any practice lies in its bumps. Our most rapid growth occurs when we’re out of our comfort zone. So, maybe rather than turning a blind eye to the discomfort of my current practice, I could stand to embrace it, even be grateful for it, because I know it will help me grow. And that’s what this is all about, isn’t it?
I believe these bows provide abdomen exercise similar to that of an intestine exercise (an intestine-focused stomach crunch), because I’m experiencing similar physiological results. Intestine exercises have two main goals – to massage your intestines, which helps bring blood to them which in turn helps them function better, and to increase your energy. I’ve been experiencing the former, and while it’s definitely a goal of mine to increase my energy body -immensely- I’m actually thrilled to discover that doing only 300 abdominal exercises can help my intestines function well.
Why the excitement? Healthy intestine operation helps ensure toxins are adequately removed from your body. Food and negative emotions can create toxins in the digestive tract, a lot of which can get stored in the intestines. Thus, removing those toxins (aka doing abdominal exercises) can help improve your health and emotional balance (yay!).
Bows were soft and light… they remind me of the feeling of a squeezing a soft, squishy foam ball, especially one of those anti-stress balls that slowly morph back into their original state. They felt like the slow, patient, soft movement of a just-squeezed anti-stress ball.
Felt a little distracted during my bows today, so I took a break after 200 and went back a few hours later to finish up. The break helped immensely, and I was able to finish my bows with a state of mind more akin to the one I wanted to have.
This is good practice for me in understanding (and accepting) that there are many paths to the same goal, all of which are just as right and just as good as the next one.
It’s becoming more and more apparent that my physical body needs more than what I’ve been giving it… especially on this extended winter vacation, which involves sitting and being indoors much more than usual. The bows have been very helpful for my physical body while I’m doing them, but they have not been enough to sustain my body for an entire 24 hours. I know this because my body is starting to feel consistently fatigued and tight, affecting my mood, my workflow, sociability, etc. Time to start actively, consciously incorporating more physical body stimulation.
Felt my throat chakra open up nicely today. At some point in the middle of my bows, my throat relaxed and gently expanded, allowing air to feel soft and velvety moving through it.
Very peaceful practice today… wonder if it had anything to do with how I spent my day, which was, as David Deida would call it, fully in the feminine- lots of relaxation and cheer and communing with family and friends.
Focused on my body’s movements today, which made the practice very meditative. Filled my entire awareness with my arms, hands, knees, and spine… no space left for thoughts.
I realized today that the speed of my bows doesn’t matter at all. Only the focus matters. Bowing with sincerity, hope, love, awareness, etc. is what they are about, and such things are independent of pace, independent of the body.
It seems as though when I bow, if I’m not focusing my mind, whatever is most important to me will surface on its own. I appreciate the clarity of purpose it brings, for when I finish my bows I’m quite excited to start working on whatever my practice brought to my attention.
I kept the same focus as yesterday, on purity and feeling my heart. Like yesterday, I felt a strong surge of energy in my heart and belly, and it remained with me the entire time. I bowed slowly, again… funny that this new speed is starting to feel more right than my previous pace; previously, bowing slowly made my head spin and I could hardly hold maintain my focus.
On a separate note, I received a Qi Gong home training kit for Christmas, and guess what—it’s a 100-day training. A sign, anyone?
Bowed extremely slowly today, by conscious choice. I’ve been struggling with a good amount of judgment recently, which I think may have something to do with pms. Usually, I blame pms for causing monthly bad moods, as if the hormonal changes flick some sort of neurochemical a switch that suddenly release anger and sadness. But now, with Misha’s insightful observations, I actually think that pms may simply amplify emotions that are already there—positive, negative, or otherwise. Therefore, pms may actually be a blessing of sorts, helping me to see the emotions that hide, deep down, tucked away from my conscious radar.
After about a week of such visceral negativity, I reached a breaking point. I wanted desperately to feel differently, to relinquish the anger and resentment I was harboring, to be free of all that murkiness. And I wanted to make that change before coming into contact with anyone else in the house, because I didn’t want to bring all that with me into this new space. Before Misha woke up, I crept into another room, quietly shut the door, pulled my hands to my heart and gently opened it up. And I focused every part of my being on the experience of purity—removing all walls that stood between me and the bright, unconditionally-loving energy that is my true self.
I bowed slowly and deliberately. Today I had nowhere better to be, nothing better to be doing. My focus held strong, and for the first time in this training I really got a lot out of bowing slowly on my own.
I have never been grateful for pms… now I wish it were with me all the time. Experiencing my emotions so strongly helped drive me to change them; it forced me to see them, honestly, and to make a conscious, pleading choice to deal with them.
Woke up early because I wanted to finish my practice before flying out today. Admittedly, I had a hard time focusing… my thoughts were astray, my head and heart were not aligned. Two steps forward, one step back 
.
Focused on energy today, and felt light and fluid during my bows.
Sometimes, albeit rarely, I’m not sure at all what I’ve gained from my practice. I believe this comes about when I don’t put enough care and effort into choosing my focus, thus I get out of them what I put into them – which is hardly anything at all. I’m not proud of today, but sometimes lessons like these are important to experience, regardless of pride.
It’s been a lonnnng time since I’ve done my bows in the morning. I think it has something to do with wanting to have a solid break between sessions. So once I started doing my bows in the evening, doing them the following morning sorta lost its appeal. Well, last night I determined that I would do them in the morning because I’d really had enough of doing them late at night when I was tired and desiring to be in bed.
So, I set my alarm early enough to finish them before we needed to leave for the day, and even though I woke up suuuper sleepy and sore from yesterday’s yoga class, I still finished all 300 before we left!! It really was nice having them done at the beginning of the day, and it felt super good to have followed through on a goal I had set the day before.
Started my bows with the same focus as last night—to relax my face—and the first 100 felt euphoric, physically. I took a little break after the 100 because I was pretty tired, and I realized that my fatigue was determining more of my bowing practice this evening than anything else. For example, I wanted to crawl into bed and go to sleep, I felt a little bummed that I still had 200 to do, etc etc.
I made a decision to not let my fatigue control me, and I set a goal to finish the remaining 200 bows quickly so that afterwards I could actually finish up some of the things I’d wanted to address today. It’s amazing to me how setting an intention like that can change the entire experience- not only did my speed increase and my affect improve, but my mind shifted as well. A small army of goal-related thoughts flew in and took up temporary residence. Made me excited to finish them so I could get started on a lot of them.
Despite my honest intentions to focus on more spiritual elements while doing my bows (e.g. energy, love, gratitude, connecting through my 7th chakra or to my heart), I’m finding that relaxing my face, and in particular my mouth, is actually having the most rewarding result… at least for now. Somehow this super simple and seemingly purely physical focus brings me great joy, so much joy that I’m starting to wonder if relaxing my mouth—and giving myself what feels like an orgasmic gums massage—is actually stimulating my vagus nerve.
What is the vagus nerve, you ask? Here’s a little tidbit from Psychology Today:
The path from sociability to tranquillity is paved by the vagus nerve, the main route of the parasympathetic branch of the autonomic nervous system. The vagus wanders from brain stem to body, carrying signals to organs like the heart, lungs, and intestines, and regulating a number of facial muscles to boot. The vagus influences heart rate and breathing. It is intimately involved in how we perceive, react to, and recover from stress. When the vagus nerve is activated, heart rate slows, blood pressure drops, and the body enters a state of physical calm.
I’ve been told by two of my yoga teachers, Tanya Kaps and Kelly Smith, that a great way to activate the parasympathetic nervous system (in other words, how to relax) is to stimulate the vagus nerve by relaxing the tongue and the back of the throat. Perhaps when I’m relaxing my cheeks, mouth, and jaw during my bows, I’m essentially doing the same thing. And if I am, then holy moly everyone in the world should pick this trick up – it’s amazing.
Had a short span of time during which to complete my bows, and somehow this helped keep my focus very sharp. The bows weren’t very spiritually-minded, but they were certainly direct and highly efficient, as my mind and body were working together as one.
Was more conscientious about my bowing today, as in, I folded them into my schedule rather than leaving them until the very end of the day. Doing them in this more intentional manner changed how I felt about them and how I felt during them. Rather than feeling a little begrudgingly towards them, I waas happy to do them. And that’s the beauty of personal choice… when we choose to do something, we’ll always be happier doing it than if it’s chosen for us. I believe that’s the backbone of this training- the only way for one to succeed in a training like this is if they choose to do it, not because someone told them they ’should’ do it.
Had another challenging evening, partially because I started late again, although not quite as late , and partially because I ate a nice, dense chocolately number a little earlier in the evening (I could actually feel the lump of undigested goodness making pains each time I folded forward!). I eventually began reminding myself that “I’m not my body”, because the combination of fatigue and stomach discomfort made me a little than enthused about doing my practice. The reminder helped a lot, and I finished my bows in a comfortable state.
My practice tonight made me realize that people who experience chronic pain, or any major form of physical discomfort, would have a very challenging time doing something like this. I believe physical challenges present greater opportunities for growth, but they’re still challenging to overcome, nonetheless. In the yoga I do, we take great care to bring the body to an optimal state of health before jumping into deeper spiritual training. This way, the body can support the mind and spirit, rather than presenting a distraction or competing for truly deserved attention.
Today may have been my most challenging practice so far. I flew to California today which was an all-day affair, and when I got in I still had 200 bows left to do. I took my time starting them, because I felt like talking with family more than starting my bows. By the time got started, it was 3am Philadelphia time… and my body really really knew it. The bows were incredibly challenging, as I felt pretty nauseated doing them. I gave myself encouragement, and at one point tried to imagine what I really wanted my body to feel like (light, comfortable, fluid), which actually helped immensely.
Observation: I often don’t pay very close attention to how my body feels (or heed the information it’s giving me) until I absolutely need to use it, at which point it’s sorta too late. Meaning, if I’m working at my computer designing a site, I can site for hours without eating and not realize that I’m hungry. And then when I try and stand up, I’m super wobbly and light-headed. Sometimes even when I do realize my body’s needs, some part of me dismisses them. As I learned today, it’s important to take care of the body all the time, not only when it’s crying out in need.
Today I observed that this training has become a temporal sanctuary of sorts… a time during which I find myself contemplating the many things I want to do. Oftentimes it’s the only part of my day that I spend any time thinking about myself, my desires and my dreams. Solutions, insights, and creative ideas often come to me during my bow training, which is on the one hand lovely and on the other hand sometimes challenging for me to accept, because I’m trying to develop my focus! Letting my mind travel the haphazard paths they usually travel, regardless of how useful it may be, is actually not my goal… but that’s what I love about this practice- it’s teaching me to accept things when they come, even if they’re not what was planned. Why spend energy getting upset about a good thing?
Reminds me of the gentleman Misha and I met yesterday, who had a tattoo with three Chinese characters written across the inside of his forearm. I inquired about what it meant, and he told us it said, “Never satisfied.” I smiled and asked if that meant he always had a fire in his belly. With a grim face he said, “Well, that’s what it used to mean. But now it means ‘nothing is never enough, nothing is never is ever good enough’. Truth is, sometimes you gotta be satisfied with what you got.” Desire and acceptance (or gratitude, patience, forgiveness)- two sides of the same coin. We need both to grow.
Decided to do my bows in the middle of the day when I was feeling quite lethargic, notably to get my mind and body into a better state before I began my afternoon’s work. I was surprised how yucky I felt before the bows, since I had done an asana yoga practice that morning, but when I started I immediately felt the products of the morning’s yoga class – the bows were physically easier and more graceful. As usual, the bows helped balance my energy and my mood, and I was able to begin my work in a much better place.
Judgemental memories from past experiences floated through my mind tonight. I also had an amazingly challenging time keeping my focus – it was so astray that at times I completely forgot where I was, and had no idea if I’d skipped 15 characters and was on line 1 or 3 of the Chun Bu Kyung. My body was extremely off balance, and I often wobbled wildly as I bent down. If I had to guess, the five hours of sleep I got last night may have had something to do with my off-kilterness. Amazing how much the body can affect the mind…
Had been working for a number of hours before doing my bows tonight, so going into my practice my legs felt sorta achey from lack of use, my energy was pretty off balance (all in my head), and my mood was kinda bleh. Thus doing bows was almost a luxury… my legs felt great afterwards (300 forward bends- what else could I expect!), my energy was balanced, and my mood was much more pleasant.
After a long day of work, bowing is fabulous.
Did my bows at the end of a long work day, and it was a fairly conscious choice… I figured it would be nice to end my day with the bows rather finishing the day w/ a fried brain While my mind did race around for the first good bit of my practice tonight, I was able to consciously calm it down by focusing on energy and exercising patience and love. My state of mind, by the time I finished all 300, was considerably calmer, clearer, and more peaceful than it was at the start.
In keeping with the intention I set forth on Day 41, I focused on energy tonight, connecting with my true self, and connecting with the Source (see the footnote from day 41 if you’re wondering what that means…). I found that focusing on connecting with the Source made the other two just fall into place – felt a strong amount of energy in my torso and abdomen, and found myself offering positive thoughts and guidance quite unconsciously. I also experienced some new sensations during my bows – a very, very cold throat, heavy and slightly tingly hands and forearms, some strikingly painful memories, and one fearful one.
The one that stood out the most to me was my cold throat. I’ve experienced something close to this before, which is a heavy sort of sensation in my throat which usually coincides to speaking untruthfully. Today the sensation was definitely cold, as opposed to heavy or uncomfortable, and it reminded me of the sensation of releasing stagnant energy, usually experienced in my palms and the soles of my feet. I wonder… can one release through one’s throat or mouth? My throat felt quite clear after I finished the bows, like I could inhale more deeply. Curious experience.
Overall, enjoyable practice, and I’m happy I’ve been able to integrate my new intention both days since I set it
Bowed a lot more slowly tonight, trying to focus on energy the entire time. (Focusing on (and working with) energy in this practice is sorta similar to Tai Chi or Ki Gong.) As I bowed, energy lifted my arms up, and then I’d bring the energy back to my heart. Something I became aware of tonight was all the looping involved in bowing – energy carries my arms up above, I bring energy and mindfulness of heaven down to my heart; energy from the earth lifts my hands once again, and then I return energy to the earth; lastly I finish by bringing awareness of and sensitivity to the earth’s energy back to my heart. It’s all a cycle, and such a perfect one – self to heaven, heaven to self, self to the earth, earth to the self. Reminds me a lot of the Chun Bu Kyung… its no wonder we meditate on that text while bowing – they’re nearly the same thing!
Added an informational page for this training which got me back in touch with the how and why of my 100 days of 300 bows. My main purpose for undertaking this training was to improve my discipline for growth purposes. And as I recently learned at a lecture on spiritual growth and training, discipline is really the foundation of any spiritual practice. Without discipline, we can hardly hope to change a deeply-ingrained and unwanted habit into something new, beautiful and beneficial.
While I’m deeply grateful that I embarked on this journey to increase my discipline, I realize there’s much more I can get out of these bows. The bows themselves make up a full-fledged growth practice that work on the physical, energetic, mental, and spiritual bodies all at once. During my training so far, I’ve only been consciously addressing the physical and mental bodies. Any energetic work has been entirely happenstance (as the bows stimulate the kidney and bladder meridians, at least something has been happening 
)… I could be doing a lot more to consciously work on the energetic body. Likewise, I could be doing a lot more to work on the spiritual body by focusing on my true self or connecting with the Source
Focusing on my energetic or spiritual bodies takes a bit more concentration and requires that I bow much more slowly than I have been. I can tell that I’m a little stressed out right now regarding my work, as I’m trying to finish a lot before the holidays. I will try, however, to make time to bow with these new aims in mind so that I can start getting more out of this practice… because hey, I already know I’m gonna finish the 100 days, so the commitment lesson is already in the bag
Brief summary of today’s practice: sandwiched my bows around an asana yoga class. Had a lighter state of mind after the asana practice, which is to be expected. The calmer mind helped me feel sincerely neutral about my sorer physical body. I spent some time focusing on energy today, but my concern with time overtook my desire to shift my bowing practice. I can tell that I’d like to start doing more w/ my bows… hopefully I can make this happen soon.
Did all 300 straight through today, something I haven’t done in some time. Felt rather nice to do them all at once… had a lovely feeling of excitement and accomplishment at the start of the final 100. Had decent focus tonight, which was most certainly aided by my happy state of mind. Funny how much my emotions impact my bows
Was in such a grumpy mood tonight before starting my bows! The negative mood made me suuuper uninterested in doing my training tonight. Despite my temporary desires, I dragged myself onto my mat, and I soon found that my emotional resistance had physical ramifications. My body felt extremely stiff, and my speed was begrudgingly slow. After enduring this for the first 100 bows, I decided to try and change my pace and add some energy/physical exertion to my bows and see if that might help shift my state of mind. And, as to be expected, it did. I finished my bows feeling much better emotionally
Did my bows quickly tonight, as I had places to go and movies to see! Having the goal of completing my training by a certain time made it much easier to focus. I’m finding that when I have something post-bows that I really want to do, the bows are very focused and go by very quickly.
Purpose, purpose, purpose…
Was very sore and tired doing my bows tonight. Felt distracted by my physical body, so I tried to focus on energy instead. Near the end of my first 100 bows, I found myself getting into a rhythm which thrust me right into a deeply relaxed state. My face relaxed, and the remaining 200+ bows were incredibly enjoyable.
Split my bows today because of a busy schedule. Felt my mind focusing on a lot of things, which admittedly is starting to get old! But got through them, despite the craziness of the day.
Noteworthy: spent 5 hrs driving to and from a training in north Jersey, and as I was driving in pouring rain, barely able to see through the windshield, I observed a number of mental states and shifts. I’ve not been driving in quite some time as we have the luxury of public transportation and a walkable city grid here in Philly. Driving therefore felt new and novel, and because of that it was much easier to hear my thoughts and see my reactions to other drivers, weather conditions, etc. I was surprised that my natural state while driving is so different than my natural state while walking! So I worked to change my reactions to try and them up with the habits I’ve developed in the other areas of my life with which I have more frequent experience.
Felt super driven today and that carried through into my training. All the work that I want to accomplish in the next two weeks floated through my mind and propelled me to finish my bows quickly. There’s so much I want to do! This is just a small part of it!! So I finished my training quickly and set to work
Did my bows today with a pounding headache, which was surprisingly helpful! Because of the headache I was really able to focus, and I finished my bows incredibly quickly which really blew me away.
On a side note, I mixed my bows with doing nice things for other people, and it made both the headache more bearable and the training very enjoyable.
Late night bows… mmmMMmmm. Did them slowly, so slowly that my knees started to hurt. Body was achy, mind was a bit erratic… what I appreciated was that I didn’t get frustrated with myself. My mind was still light, even amidst my physical discomfort and a not-so-focused mind.
Bowed very late tonight. Experienced a few firsts – longest bowing session I’ve had thus far; first time bowing on a menstrual cycle; and first time I’ve felt a lot of blood in my head during my practice. Overall, the practice tonight was fairly physically uncomfortable Interesting to note, though, that this particular combination of sensations is a first for me. My mind was at ease, though hardly clear, and in all honesty I didn’t put forth a strong effort to focus it! Instead, I let myself think about what I wanted to think about, which was the yoga teacher training I hope I’ll be taking next summer. It’s nice to think about exciting things every once in a while
Bowed at midday. About halfway through I was able to get myself back into the groove I’ve been finding lately (deep, meditative, serene). Recalled what Cayce said about consistent practice- that spiritual growth practices become easier (and begin to bear more fruit) the more we practice. We know this to be true with nearly anything physical we undertake (e.g. the more one jogs, the easier it becomes to run faster or jog or longer stretches of time). Naturally, the same is true for mental and spiritual growth, only I’ve not had nearly as much practice in those realms. Another bit of advice Cayce gives is that patience and forgiveness are two of the most important components to spiritual practice. I’ve learned this before, and because I didn’t practice it long enough, I forgot it My bowing practice often goes in waves; some days are serene, some days are incredibly distracted. Learning to have patience with myself through this training would be such a blessing… I’ll try and focus on that as I go.
During my first 100 bows, something got me thinking about asana yoga teacher training. This is something I’ve been contemplating the past 3 months, but I hadn’t felt compelled to choose a training quite yet. Today I felt compelled to choose which one I wanted to apply to, so in the middle of my bows I stopped and started researching teacher trainings! The one our friend Tanya recommended for me, a one-month Ashtanga-based Vinyasa teacher training held in Thailand, ended up standing out a lot. The trainings strongly emphasizes the need for personal, self-study, and the understanding that teachers who apply to this program should be called to do so. The program feels full of authenticity, integrity, and love… and I dearly hope I’ll have a chance to take part in this transformative study.
After I understood which one I wanted to apply for, I completed my remaining 200 bows, imagining the whole time what the teacher training will be like… a quite enjoyable practice today if you ask me
First bowing experience in direct sunlight, thanks to the godsend that is California winter
Due to the book I read on my flight yesterday (You Can Remember Your Past Lives by Edgar Cayce) I found myself thinking about habits, purpose, and love. All topics I was happy to be thinking about while bowing, so I let myself mentally wander through those as I went.
This book was a great synthesis and reinforcement of principles that I’ve already learned, but that may not have really hit the nail on the head before, for me. I believe different teachers/sources/explanations resonate with different people, and this one happens to resonate deeply with me
Was very responsible today and kept promises to lots of people, including myself and this practice… naturally The highlights of today included going to yoga early with my friend Nick on 4.5 hours of sleep, and doing my bows at a client’s office after meeting with her in just enough time to run out and catch my shuttle to the airport. Bows were a little distracted today, perhaps due to time of day and the circumstances surrounding the training. Overall, however, I was proud to have done them before my flight.
Had amazing focus tonight. Somehow it was easier to let my mind fall silent than it was to concentrate on peripheral thoughts.
Realized that I have been using my mind to retrieve the memory / recreate the experience of being in deep meditation. I can now immerse myself in a state of deep relaxation just by recalling what it felt like yesterday.
Flitted in and out of meditation and distraction. Did my bows late at night after a very involved discussion and exploration of graphic design work. Found myself wanting to think about design rather than my bowing. Overall, not a particularly relaxing practice tonight, but interesting to see the play between the two things I wanted to be focusing on.
Same phenomenon as yesterday – was able to get back to the deep meditative place very quickly. My face was relaxed, I laughed at my mistakes, overall again very enjoyable
The experience of yesterday was still very present in my mind. It made getting back to that place very easy. My bows today were very enjoyable, deep and peaceful.
600 bows.
The first 150 felt horrible. Felt so much anger/frustration/impatience with myself! Have no idea where it came from as I’d had such a lovely, happy, peaceful day, aided by having my entire digestive tract cleaned out in the course of a single evening. Although it was difficult to work through, I let my emotions rise and did my best to help them come out. Felt a lot of odd physical sensations in my legs, especially my calves… a sensation that I associate with throwing temper tantrums when I was 5 years old – crazy, unhinged anger. Cried a lot as well.
After the first 150, once I decided to work with my anger rather than fight it, I started bowing like a madwoman. The increased speed shifted my focus and energy around, so I spent the last 450 bows in a state of total bliss. Quiet mind, no emotions, clear focus. Felt my eyes completely close (aka the outside edges were comfortably closed, not just the inside corners), noticed that my body started to feel much better. Felt myself release into a state of acceptance.
One of my most dramatic days, by far, with such emotions and then such a turnaround.
Casual observation: breathing through my nose yielded a very different experience than breathing through my mouth. When breathing through my nose, I felt calmer… possibly because my inhales were much more drawn out.
No joke, but today I had my first major peanut encounter in maybe 20 years. I did not do my bows today because I had planned on doing them in the evening, and instead spent the evening reaquainting myself with the act of throwing up (I’ve not thrown up in 20 years and have developed an odd fear of it during that respite). I decided that medical emergencies, if they render the physical body incapable of completing the training that day, are allowed without penalty, as long as the training is made up on the next available day. Thus on Day 23, I will do 600 bows to make up for the missed day.
Moderately good focus today… aimed to do my bows late at night, going off of what I learned yesterday, but I caved and did them right before dinner. As could have been expected, didn’t have the clarity of mind that I wanted. Not wonderful, but the good news is, I still did ‘em
Again tried the slower pace today. My bows started off very similarly to yesterday, with a deep meditative feeling and sweeping calm. Over the course of the practice, thoughts of what I wanted to do today drifted in, and by the time I reached 300 I was consumed with distraction.
Now I understand why we bow in the early morning or late at night. At both times we have the luxury of feeling timeless, unconstrained by responsibility. Something I will keep in mind…
Again bowed slowly tonight. Despite the similar pace, my practice today was entirely different than yesterday’s.
For the first time in this whole training, I felt peaceful and energy-balanced (cool head, warm center) going into my bows. Once I started bowing, I noticed my mind felt heavy and solid. No thoughts were circling around. My bows came slowly, calmly. The feeling of a quiet mind was new, and perhaps out of habit my awareness of this novelty created a distraction for me to occasionally focus on. But the pervasive feeling of heavy, quiet peace always settled back in, leaving me with a smile.
I think tonight was my most enjoyable experience to date
Bowed slowly today… had a difficult time concentrating as my mind flew all over the place. After the bows, however, I felt calm and balanced.
Luckily there are many components to this practice
Was a bit emotional before my training, so it was nice to see how the bowing affected my body, mind, and emotions. Very early on, my emotional state balanced. My anger drifted out, and it was replaced with acceptance and trust. My thoughts shifted from injustice and unfairness to appreciating the merits of the situation. After this initial shift, I was able to focus on energy. And after the bows were complete, I was in a much calmer state, feeling happy and peaceful.
I’m grateful for the stress that I encountered before the bowing, because it helped me see what a difference this practice can have on my emotional and mental states.
Focused on energy today… hands and arms felt very light, mind (at times) fell quiet. Paused for a few moments between each 100 bows, and upon starting number 101 and 201 I felt the energy much more intensely, as if my arms were being lifted by something else.
This practice is so clearly a meditative practice… I see how busy my mind is, and at times I want to just give in to the thoughts and not try to direct them on something singular. But getting lost in my thoughts is not what I really want to do. I’d much rather experience the fullness of this training… And I’d like to remember that so far, each day I’ve had moments of blissful, directed focus. Let me smile at that, instead of frowning at what I didn’t do well
Had a partner in crime today and boy, did it make a difference! Having someone to practice with freed my mind of any questions, concerns, excuses, etc. regarding my practice today. It was as if the questions “Will I do this today?” and “When?” simply disappeared. Makes me realize just how helpful working through a commitment with another or many others can really be
Started a trend recently of breaking up my bows, either due to time constraints or physical considerations. Today I felt a habitual urge to pause after my first 100 bows, and I recognized it was mostly my ego requesting the break. I opted to give in, despite my better judgement, and surprisingly it returned a very positive result. The small break allowed my mind to free itself of the distractions that had been swimming around during my first 100. And because of the break, I could more strongly feel the energy when I began my last 200.
I was able to really focus during the last 200 bows. And I learned that sometimes the ego can be a helpful tool.
The bows tonight reflected so much of my state going into them. The questions I’d had before I began started to return answers as I went through my practice. Overall, the practice wasn’t necessarily what I deeply wanted, which was a quiet, serene, and opening experience, but it did help to provide me with some helpful insights, and I was grateful for that.
Split my bows today due to training circumstances – ended up doing 103 bows during class and 200 at night. The bows during class were particularly powerful. Felt the warm glow of the sun on my skin, chanted the Chun Bu Kyung powerfully and in unison with 3 other students, and possibly most importantly, had the luxury of relinquishing control and attention to my body and mind because the bows were led – I moved at the pace set by another, and I chanted the words determined by another. In other words, I really didn’t need to think at all, so I could turn the entirety of my focus elsewhere – this time on connecting inward, upward, and outward.
The bows this morning felt very sincere, and they helped break down some hardened mental barriers of judgment, negativity, etc. Hopefully I can find a way to experience the same thing when leading my own practice
Had more success with focus today. Concentrated on my center, and was able to maintain my focus there for 10-20 bows at a time before a thought would come in I’d get carried away with it. Hopefully I’m starting on a path towards increased focus and entering into a deeper meditative state during this practice, cuz that would rock
Sleep and a good mood does such wonders for the mind! Slept well last night and woke up feeling very happy… maybe because I went to sleep feeling very happy. Zoomed downstairs to do my bows and had such an easy time physically and mentally that I had the ability to control my focus. Worked first on focusing on nothing (which sorta felt like I was focusing on my 3rd eye, like in Kundalini yoga), and then shifted it down to my center/2nd chakra. Amazing how different the two foci (focuses?) felt… will try and explore this further tomorrow
These bows are the physical face of a deeper, non-physical intention and pursuit of growth. Truthfully, I could have chosen any action to repeat for 100 days, because this practice is not so much about the action as it is about the commitment and the purpose driving it. Today my interest in my chosen activity wore off, and I started to wish I had chosen to do 100 days of yoga or 100 days of meditating instead. I recognized, however, that I had chosen the bows not b/c bowing was particularly important or rationally useful for me; rather, I chose bowing because I had wanted to commit to something that I thought would be challenging physically, mentally, and spiritually. Additionally, this particular challenge pretty much fell right into my lap when I had endeavored to start making some lasting changes, and it fit the bill perfectly.
Thus, my takeaway for today is: when you start to question the practice (in my case, I was wondering ‘why did I choose bowing of all things?’), remind yourself of the deeper purpose of your training. It’s not about the bows or the diet or the exercise; it’s about helping yourself grow, even when it’s not interesting, fun, or particularly convenient
Experienced mind over matter today.
Woke up early with a clear mind, ready to get started. Very quickly the sensations of my body crept in to my awareness, and I realized I was quite exhausted. I heavily considered for the first time going back to sleep and doing my bows tonight, instead. Felt very viscerally the pull of the body and its desire for comfort, and it was challenging to ignore. After some internal (and some external) debate, I concluded that it’d be better to do them now, even if tired, than come home tonight night knowing that I still had 300 bows left to do. So I pulled myself out of bed, got myself onto my mat, sat for a little while, and then started in.
To get through today’s practice, I did everything I could with my mind to help my body. I silently cheered myself along, energetically hollering out each character as I went, like my coaches used to do during really hard swim sets. I unabashedly filled my head with positive thoughts, verbal encouragement, and helpful visualizations. And with all this help, I not only got through my bows, I flew through them. I finished filled with energy, feeling calm and happy.
I’ve been told time and time again:
I am not my body
I am not my mind
I am not my emotions.
And recently one of my yoga teachers said, “The mind is a terrible master, but a wonderful servant.”
I agree. I believe the mind, body, and emotions can all be useful tools if wielded well by your heart, will, purpose – your true self, and its deepest desires.
Recognized the truth that mind can affect body and, conversely, body can affect mind.
I began my bows slowly, as usual, and I thought today perhaps I’d do them slowly the entire time; maybe it’d help me focus more sincerely on the activity, as it’d give me more time to ‘be’ with each bow and each character of the Chun Bu Kyung. Instead of increasing my focus, however, the slower pace actually seemed to increase my lack of focus, as my mind began drifting off to anything and everything not bowing-related.
Near the end of the first 100, one of my friends who’s also embarking on this challenge came to mind, and my speed picked up. And as my speed increased, my mind fell quieter. Eventually, I wasn’t focusing on anything in particular – friends, body, thoughts – but I was conscious of my speed, and I did what I could to maintain it. Turns out the quicker speed, at least for today, helped me quiet my mind. Usually, it works the other way around – that my mind, upon focusing on something inspiring, positively affects my body. This time, when I altered my body, I was able to alter my mind.
Each day is a new day.
I tried to focus on love again, after my experience yesterday, but instead of entering the bliss I had encountered before, I had trouble connecting with my heart or the feeling of love at all.
In light of my learnings yesterday, I engaged in my bowing practice this morning with a lighter, easier state of mind. While I found myself kindly free of self-criticism, I still found it difficult to focus my mind on my energy, body, or center. Then, at some point during my first 100 bows, the words “I love you” came into my mind, filling my whole chest with heat and my whole body with energy. I focused on love, both for myself and for others, for the duration of my practice, feeling the high of open-hearted love for the longest time in, well, a very long time.
The last time I experienced this feeling was at the end of a training in Sedona this summer. We had all spent the past few days focusing on our hearts, and on the last morning we were asked to declare to the vast expanse of red rock what we truly wanted. Amidst over one-hundred other screaming voices, I yelled at the top of my lungs, “I CHOOSE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.” The feeling was so strong that day, so true, that I felt like I’d never lose it because it was so obvious, so simply right. But I did lose touch with my declaration. And today was my first reconnection with it since I lost it, back in June.
Question now is… how does one maintain an open heart, filled with unconditional love? In other words, how can I change my current habit of a closed, critical, self vs. other worldview?
Woke up feeling quite tired and a bit angry with myself for not having gone to bed earlier. I had trouble focusing on my energy today and caught myself thinking judgemental thoughts when I would forget one of my newly-memorized Chun Bu Kyung characters. Engaged in a pattern of self-deprecation and mental reminding to bring my focus back to my center.
As I went through my bows, one stanza really resonated with me, bringing with it a deep, albeit momentary, meditative state and a bright bright light. Translated, the stanza roughly equates to, “Ten-thousand go, Ten-thousand come.” Which means, ten-thousand (or an infinite amount, all, etc) of our old habits and emotions go, replaced by ten-thousand (all) new ones.
My old habit is to judge myself. And this habit reared its beautiful head this morning as I experienced the results of the decisions I made last night. Luckily this 100 day training is about change. While yesterday I realized a physical change I’m in the process of making (getting to bed earlier), today I realized a mental change that I’m going to be making as well—replacing (self-)criticism with forgiveness and acceptance.
I spent a few minutes after finishing my bows working on forgiving myself. It’s ok that I went to bed later than I wanted, its ok that I forgot a few characters this morning! In my focus on the negative stuff, I’d completely missed the positive stuff – I’d made it through another day, and I’d remembered all the characters of the Chun Bu Kyung – so well that I was even able to correct my mistakes!
Makes me realize how unhelpful harboring judgment is. My next lesson, once I get through this one, will be finding a way to accept my judgmentalness altogether.
Much more meditative experience today. I have finally learned the entire Chun Bu Kyung, an ancient Korean text akin to the Tao te Ching, which contains 100 characters (a combination of 81 characters from the original text and 19 derivative ones from Ilchi Lee). In the Dahn Yoga tradition, one chants the Chun Bu Kyung while doing bows to help purify the mind and body. The combination of the physical practice of bowing, which activates all 12 energy meridians in the body (a very healthy activity!), and the sustained mental focus on the higher truths of the Chun Bu Kyung, results in a profoundly moving spiritual practice.
Not having to focus so much attention on the characters allowed me to move my focus elsewhere, so today I chose to focus on the energy moving through me. My physical practice became much more fluid and light when I did this, and my mental practice became very quiet. I felt very calm and centered, yet also very strong, for I noticed I was powering through my bows at a very fast pace. After 300 bows, my heart was pounding, yet I hadn’t noticed any physical exertion during the practice itself. This brings to light a new observation today: changing my mental focus seemed to positively affect my physical experience. I was more graceful and moved more naturally when I wasn’t focusing on my body or mind.
So much of this training is about what you do when you’re not doing the training! I have chosen to do my bows in the morning, because I’ve learned from previous experience that a) if I don’t set a time to do it, I’ll forget about it or put it off until the end of the day, and b) doing a training like this at the end of the day (read: 2am) is really dreadful. Thus, to do my bows in the morning, I need to go to bed early enough so that I can finish my bowing before I start my day. To get to bed early, I need to finish my work at a reasonable hour (yes, I’m a nightowl freelancer), eat dinner earlier, etc etc. I’m finding that this training is not simply an acute, 1-hour commitment that I don’t think about during the other 23 hours in the day; it’s more like an all-day training, where my commitment lives in at the edge of my awareness all the time.
And that makes so much sense… when you really want something, it’s always on your mind. What better way to change than with your full consciousness?
I decided last night before falling asleep that I wanted to undertake this challenge. I’d recently attempted a few 21-day trainings, all of which were structured super loosely so as to guarantee easy completion. My thought was, discipline doesn’t have to involve pain and misery, so why not make it enjoyable? Yet, even with such flexible standards in place, I somehow managed not to complete any of the trainings. Each time, I actually forgot about the trainings partway through. Clearly, my motivations for doing the trainings were compelling enough for me to care what the outcome was.
This time I have a compelling motivation. After a bout of feeling completely out of control emotionally—I found myself riddled with anger for no reason comprehensible reason—I decided it was time I bring something solid into my life. Thus, I decided to commit to something—and something challenging, at that—so as to pull my attention away from my emotions and give me real grounding.
I want to do something, as Ilchi Lee recommends that will blow my mind if I accomplish it. I’ve never done more than 103 bows, so 300 sounds quite monumental. On top of that, bowing is a practice that I’ve long felt uncomfortable with. When I read that many of my peers share this sentiment, I felt comforted; and when I read that bowing can help purify the ego and the mind, I felt compelled.
Today, I floated through my first 300 bows. I was grateful for having something to commit to, and joyous that I had made the commitment. Throughout the hour, energy came and went in waves. I noticed it was the highest when I was focusing on how this experience might inspire others. I really do hope this account can help inspire people, to help them realize that they can change old habits and create new ones of their choosing. I hope after I finish this first 100-day training, that I can do my next 100-day training with many other people. It’s always easier and so much more exciting to do it with friends. Seeing others’ commitment and growth can oftentimes be more inspiring that seeing only your own.
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